^Akira^

2010-08-22T16:07:00.001+08:00

I dunno when I can truly let go... it is truly upsetting.

2010-08-01T22:17:00.005+08:00

Please do not read if you can't take tahan emo ppl... =)

快乐与悲伤是相同的。因为它是个人的选择，个人的抉择。所以选择了快乐在同时也下了忘了悲伤的抉择。

对了今天起我做了这个选择，做了这个抉择。没有理由让自己在悲伤中打滚。想了一想自己好像脑子出了问题。他无动于衷，能让我肯定的是他因该不知道我对他的冷漠。我真的好笨。我不该对你说‘对不起’。算了说出去的话就好比泼出的水。我不会后悔让他知道我对他有好感，相反的我觉得我勇敢了许多。哈哈哈。。。我可是个胆小如鼠的人呀。但是我是会怨他很久。原因非常的简单，因为他的自私让我莫名其妙的伤心了一段日子。可有一天当我开始人生的另一个阶段时我会回头对他说声谢谢。谢谢他让我勇敢。

哪一天突发了一则短讯给了位好友。在里头我对她说了这么一段‘I have deleted his phone number from my contact listing. Cos i dun want myself to sms him again. It's the first time a day went by with me saying only one word to him’ ending with a crying emoticon~. 连续的又发了另一个短讯因为真的不好意思老是烦她。最后她的回应差点让我哭了出来。‘we are frens seeing you like this also make me sad’ 那时的感触我想只有我能理解吧。那时伤心于我真的必须把他忘掉。同时感动与朋友的体贴与安慰。

其实这一段时间我对我的好友真的亏欠了许多。她们对我的‘烦’没有埋怨。尤其是HM小姐。她好可怜。时不时看到听到我那一种悲伤的情绪。J 小姐还必须在关键时刻把我狠狠地骂醒。《-- 可没这么夸张。我对你们的亏欠我会好好的记得。如有一天你们需要我，我一定会出现在你们的身旁。这是一个不会过期的约定。

就后我想对R先生说。我是真的喜欢上了你。好喜欢。我不会忘了你。因为你让我在最不开心的时候笑了出来。因为你的体贴。想起来自己真的是陷入了太深。误把你对一个普通同事的好当成了一种你对我的好感。当你慢慢的把你对我的好一个个毁灭时。我的心就一次次的被你打碎。你好残忍。我怨你没说出我们只是朋友没有可能的。如果你说出了这一句话。我的心就不会这样的被你打碎。我不知道这会维持多久。因你不能也不会感受到我的痛。我忍住的泪以不由止住的露了下来。我希望这次的哭泣能让我忘了你。

我真的好期待。。。。

2010-07-14T13:14:00.001+08:00

let me emo in my small corner....

Haahahaha alot of things happened last mth and this mth. Alot of sad news. good news are limited to a few. Thought i have gotten over certain things in my life. In the end it's all just being suppress and each and everytime got magnify by alot. stupid i feel. Life can be so emotional at time. How i wish i am in the past where tears just freely flow. It's hard to let it go. It's very hard. I know i will be alot better if i let it all out. but then i can't. seriously, i also dunno what i am doing. why do i always bang my head against the stupid rock. Can't i just be happy for a moment.

Life is simply at a cross road now i dunno where to go or what to do. Will god really guide me to where i shall belong. i dunno. i do hope so.

2010-06-14T00:52:00.005+08:00

告白的第三天后一切都变了。。。你是个会首诺言的人。谢谢。

2010-05-11T20:59:00.005+08:00

你还好吗？

你是不是迷失了？

心情如何？

看到你哭的时候自己也愣住了。看到你笑的时候还以为一切都没问题了，没想到那么一通电话能让你哭成那样。一定是把一切憋在心里很久很久了吧。你要学会对自己好一点。不要勉强自己在不开心时大笑。有时看到你那样，心里实在不好受。

我知道他的出现并没有让你好受。虽他让你笑了，但是他也让你的心情跌入更深的谷底。你要记得你对你自己的承诺。你的他会是能让你从最不开心的时候开心起来。

你要对自己好。把一切给忘了。

希望下一次我再也不会看到悲伤的你。

2010-05-09T20:16:00.001+08:00

哈哈好希望现在的心情就像小宇一样。。。。

2010-04-02T11:12:00.002+08:00

发现自己做了一件很蠢的事。

Seriously i dunno why i explain or why i say certain things. Maybe scare ppl misunderstand. but then misunderstand is better then me explaining cos i dun wish to send out the wrong signal. Now just hope the other party dun think so much then at least won't have 尴尬 situation. Haiz i still need to survive for another 9 mths so things must go low profile....

2010-03-30T22:11:00.001+08:00

A lot of time I feel like grumbling then again I see ppl worse off than me so I just shut my mouth up. A lot of time I feel so minute in the big big world but then again there are always ppl out there pulling and helping me along the way. So why am I still so unsatisfied so .... One word to describe "burden". One thing I understand is that the earth will still spin without my existence. Things still carry on as usual. So why do I still need to be answerable to things? the irony. My world is fill with a lot of why a lot of questions. Everyday I am just trying to find the answers to my questions.

I miss the time when I can laugh my heart out truly.

2010-03-23T22:20:00.002+08:00

Actually wanted to post something, but probably it's too sensitive. Shall not post it now. This week workload is amazingly high i dunno how I survive past mid week. But i did. Shall really give myself a treat if i survive this week. :)

Time to apply leave probably going on a day off next mth. Followed by my 2 days leave application for sep. I need a break.

2010-02-28T23:15:00.003+08:00

Phew 2 months not blogging, staying totally inactive. Less surfing of the web. Started alot of things, first is the work -> jap lesson -> yoga class (starting next week).

Hmmm hmmm the last 2 months ain't easy to pass. Cos of all the ajustment i have to make etc.Even though the past 6 months were spent on internship before i have started to work the adjustment needed is still great. Maybe the responsibility grew and have to be answerable to more issues. No more turning round and ask for help. Another hurdle to pass is to get use to working OT. Hate it alot but still have to do it no choice. Being told to pioritise, work is endless etc. But when clearing of shit is needed nothing much could be push back. Next week is once again a long week or (SHORT). Hope i can get off by 6.30 for most days. Since lesser shit to clear now. Cross fingers. Got to think positive work positive. Hahahaha easier said then done.....

2009-12-31T22:37:00.002+08:00

It's going to be the end of 2009 soon.... Accomplished lots, feeling up lots, but at the same time there are instances where i dun feel too good. 2009 marks the end of my main stream education. Yes i have unofficially graduated. 2009 is also special to me in one way or another. I dare to say i open up more to others make a couple of friends here and there. Travelled as per plan though not to the exact country i am looking forward to. Hopefully next yr i will be able to accomplish more. Cross fingers....

2009-12-08T15:54:00.002+08:00

能从一个人的表情看出他在想什么也许不是件好事。。。。

2009-11-22T00:00:00.002+08:00

Finally i have removed my last 2 wisdom tooth. Abit sad to see them go since they have been with me for the past 5 yrs. But since it's necessary to have the extraction i don't really have much choice.

The second round of extraction is a bearable one. Though lots of drilling but the surgeon is at least skillful in injecting me with LA. I think he just gave me 4 jabs and after sometime my lips are already numb. Cos my first extraction is rather traumatising. Imagine after 3 vials of LA i can still feel my lips. The different between the first extraction and the second one is that i am at least not down with a fever and i dun have to sleep for 3 days. Maybe becos of the antibotic and mouth wash given to me that prevent infection etc. Since my second extraction needs a surgery, somehow it will give me the jittery. Thank goodness the dentist is able to lighten the mood way before i step into the OT. The nurse also play a huge role in
helping me to relax as she is chatting with throughout preparing me for it.

Apparently, my eyes are covered, with another additional cover on me during the operation. So it's not as scary as one thought it would be. But of cos since i am awake i can still hear the drilling and coversation between the dentist and the nurse. Some are words of reassurance. Others are emm quite scary cos the dentist will say things like 'have to drill somemore cos the tooth cannot be removed yet' or things like 'Hmmm.... let me check. okie confirmed it's the bone'. Just imagine how deep the wound was to see the bone. Later he go on to tell me we are stitching up the wound. Ok la this must inform the patient but still make me scare lor. Imagine piercing through the gum and on my cheeks. But before the stitching he almost made me laugh till i couldn't stop. hahaha. The whole procedure is overall fast and not a very worrying one as compared to the first. My stitches were subsequently removed on the sixth days. Other than some bleeding overall was okie. According to the dentist it's healing well. but seriously not without reminding dunno how many times i must keep my wound clean.

After this extraction experience i realised that having a male dentist to do a wisdom tooth extraction might be a wiser choice, cos they have more strength to do the removal as wisdom tooth could be quite deeply embedded. Plus they can move with ease without a physical consraint<-- dun have to go into too much detail.

2009-11-03T23:20:00.002+08:00

Hmmm hmmm hmmm shall today post be a happy one???

No that is for sure. But it won't be a depressing one either.

I guess my mood had been terrible in the morning. Something like PMS. But for sure it is not. Just dun feel like talking. The best part i really really feel like dropping all my work and walk off. Maybe it's because i am getting sick and tired of staring at figures. To be honest i have grumbled to my mentor. I have told him i am getting so sick and tired of figures checking. I have complained to him that it is really taking me forever to get the figures in. Cos of all the changes required, of all the mistakes that could happen. Each and everytime there's a mistake i have to triple check to ensure the error is there. It's getting tiring.

Maybe because of my grumbling and the frustration i have shown, he has decided to help me with some checking today. Seriously, got a bit surprise that he actually helped me since he had already asked me to do the checking after i have reported the issues. To cut the story short, i really appreciate it.

Things got better after 4p.m after i finally sent out the daily email. There's still one more month end to the end of my attachment. Meaning i still have to check figures. This seriously isn't good.

On a happier note. I finally managed to get my vba to work yippy....

2009-10-27T23:35:00.002+08:00

Job hunting blah....
Work blah....
Study blah...
Report blah....

Just dun feel like doing anything.

Back in those days i am so much confident. But now....

Everyday i am hoping for a better tmr. Every tmr i will hope for a day better than tmr. Human. Greedy.

2009-10-16T23:15:00.002+08:00

Read back my post and realised that i am posting like 1 post per month. hahahaha not that i am getting too lazy to blog but....

Anyway i am almost done with my internship 7 more weeks to go and i am going off.Suddenly going jobless. It's rather scary. Think i should really go easy on my job search else i think i will really go bonkers.

Job search is one thing and being confident in doing what i want to do is another. Maybe i should do something like 'be confident' and place it on my desk. Probably it will work. Since the 'Smile' tag that i had made really make me smile even though deep down i know i shouldn't. Hahahaha. On thursday i really question myself why am i smiling even when things are bothering me. Till today i dunno. Thankfully i have something to occupy me shortly after all the stupid thoughts cross my mind.

Have been doing some side gossip with ms peh and now eventually i have came out with a conclusion. It's human nature to want to be @ the center. Hahahaha i am not the one. Anyway i am getting pretty hmm not irriated but amused by what is going on so i would rather not to be in all this hoo ha. The best this is it all started with a simple SMS. Thanks to this SMS, it also let me realise lots. Actually alot of things happen along the way, just that i have never bother to think through. It's getting complicated.

2009-10-01T00:15:00.002+08:00

有时候我不知道是不是自己的记忆太好。我还记得那时的哭泣。我还记得那时的无奈。突然间那时所发生的每一幕都浮现在我面前。这一切都是我的错不能怨人。

可能在每个笑容的背后都是个悲伤。。。

2009-09-07T23:26:00.001+08:00

Went off alone for lunch today. Used to do so at least once a week since i joined the company. Maybe i am used to it since the day i join uni. I dun really like to mingle around. Cos i feel that it is so difficult for me to join a group of guys for lunch or just to chit chat. Hahahaha...

But working at my current work place 'forces' me to do the opposite. After 3 months of working in a mainly male dominated environment i am left with no choice. Any way they are fun ppl to be with @ lunch so i dun really mind. But once in a while i prefer to have a little space of my own. I enjoy the solitude. In the past i might have fear the loneliness, but strangely as i grow older i feel that it isn't so bad after all. Just a quiet lunch. There's no need to engage in some conversation, there's no need to think. It's simply just the quiet 'ME' time. The time spent commuting to places for lunch, the mindless window shopping before reporting back for work. Isn't it wonderful.

Anyway i got commented on today, albeit jokingly, that i am selfish, anti social to go off lunch alone etc. I feel that it is amusing and is totally not offended by it. Cos thinking back i am who i am because i do things that might not be the norm.Maybe one day i will be just like everyone. But for now i truly appreciate for who i am.

2009-08-02T22:36:00.001+08:00

Simply cannot believe that i am going to be in that co for 2 mths. Free as usual, busy only when i am needed to do things none related. But who cares at least i am occupied. I am not really FREE rite? hahaha actually some small things happen and made me question. The questions that have been running in my mind for the past 7 weeks. Is it because i am a libra thus there's lots of time i am looking at fairness, balance etc. nvm... Co was under going some renovation at the office level thus we have to do some packing and throwing. Since i am the only free one around i am being ask to do shredding then progress to packing papers and files into boxes for disposal then eventually to finding cleaner to vaccum the place. Hahahaha

Actually i am seriously in shock to be asked to go and look for cleaners to come up to vaccum.I ask the other intern is she sure i have been ask by our boss to look for the cleaners X 3 times. To some who is looking at this post might be wondering what is the big deal just go and look for cleaners. But the issue is i am not at my seat at the very moment, i was at the toilet and the other intern was at her desk. Why not just ask her to go and do it? hahaha... Maybe I should drop all these fairness and balance shit cos i will not be able to survive... Thank god for the 'thank you' that i received. But thinking back what is the use. In the end it really means nothing to me. At the end of the day i think i still got to deal with all the emotional struggle.

On the side note on tues i met jo to go and eat popeye cos i am crazily craving for that mash potato in the end it was oos... so sad. Then on fri i have met up with hui mien and suk mun hahaha. Have a good dinner and conversation, it's been so long since we last met as 3.Nearing 3.5 yrs i supposed. Sat and Sun was spent simply lazing ard, munching ard, reading, watching pre recorded tv programme. Great way to spend my weekend i love it. Recently i have been putting 'Iris' on repeats. Love the lyrics..

~And I don´t want the world to see me
´Cause I don´t think that they´d understand
When everything´s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am~

2009-07-03T00:25:00.002+08:00

Yippy tmr half day. Going off early for dental. I kept delaying it cos i am scare of the pain. But now i have decided to go on leave partly becos i dislike to work there. I dun like to chase ppl to get things done. Infact i hate it. But apparently as a intern at that bloody place forces me to do just that. It's feels great to be able to get what i need which is the feedback. But it feels like shit not able to get the things done because eveything is more important than those feedbacks i need. Haiz. Everytime i will console myself and take it as a learning process to be reprimanded for not getting things done cos i am not specific enough. But thinking back can all the blame be put on me if they can't be bothered to read thru the doc and reply the email?

To survive in this economy and demanding work force i do agree we must leant to multi-task. But excuse me i am an IT intern why aren't i being assign things that are more related to IT instead i am like doing PA job. It's harsh reality that most interns pick up shit. Sad but true.What is the use of internship???

But to be fair second boss has being continuously exposing as to software on the markets that is good to know and learn about. Then i have been taught how to troubleshoot machine and do some retail testing. Maybe i am just greedy and wanted to do things more related to my area and not just act as a PA. Seriously i do not understand their rationale behind getting interns to do this type of Job. What benefits do they get--->cheap labour. STUPID. What if the interns just mess up everything. More time will be wasted to rectify the problems rite? Cheap labour does not equate to 'able to get work done'. Although i believe lots of us are trying damn hard cos of the bloody grade. Haiz so many things to say....

2009-06-24T17:22:00.000+08:00

Read this and be sad ---> Living from hand to mouth

2009-06-22T15:58:00.002+08:00

Finally i managed to catch monster and aliens with the gals. Joey managed to go thru the film without much problem. Maybe only certain part of the movie she is uncomfortable with. As for Joelle i think she is the funniest of all she can scream all of a sudden and went to her mum and hug her mum saying "I Love You" in the midst of the movie. Funny and sweet. As for me i fell asleep during some parts of the show. hahahaha. Btw Joelle really made my day yesterday. When we were having dinner she suddenly turn to me hug me and say "I Love You" to me too. Can you imagine how sweet is that. My heart melted. :)

Now it's 4 and i still have 2.5 hr to go before day off. Sad. I regretted joining early cos there's really nothing to do in the afternoon. Everyday by 3 i will be so damn free. unless there is a meeting. haiz. i wish i can get out of here soon.

2009-05-17T12:59:00.002+08:00

Went for a jog earlier and it's very tiring and i am soak through. The entire T-shirt was so wet i bet if i try to squeeze it dry, there might be sweat dripping out. Eeewwww... Broke my own record today ran for 10 rounds instead of the usual 6 or at most 8. In fact i have only plan to jog for 40 mins which is about 9 rounds already then jo came running back and push me for the last round so in the end i have spent 45 mins on the tracks gosh. Hahahaha i should really try to push myself more to train up my stamina cos i get breathless easily. But it's easier said than to be done cos i always feel like vomiting if i have to jog faster. 2 weeks later i shall aim for 50 mins on the track and to cover at least 11 rounds. The purpose on lengthening the time is to actually help me to reach the burn fat zone which requires at least 90mins of continuous exercising before it can be reached. Omy i am still 45 mins aways. Hmm i think i still need another 3 or 4 months before the target can be reached. Furthermore internship is starting in July, i dun know whether i will have the discipline to get home and jog after work at least once per week.

More about my online video watching update i have manged to catch 2006 to 2009 guitan online within 2 weeks. But this is because i have only catch the investigating section and not the whole show as there are no subtitles. The unexpected gain that i have gotten from watching all these episodes is i can finally understand some Cantonese. I am damn hopeless in this dialect in the past i can hardly understand unless it's those words that sound almost the same as Teochew or Hokkien. I shall now go and rewatch some ep and catch gintama too hehehe.

2009-05-05T18:30:00.003+08:00

sitting in the lib now and typing this post away. Finally my days in the uni has come to some sort of an end cos I won't be returning to it soon. Feeling abit strange now. Haha seriously I dun really like the environment there but I will still miss it one way or another. No matter what I have spent 3 solid yrs there with lots of up and down. Hahaha...

Anyway I had a disappointing presentation. Haiz.... Can't believe I have put in so much effort in the end this is the type of response.

2009-04-23T23:12:00.002+08:00

Back to blogging... This blog seems very abandon. hahahahaa. Unexpectedly the semester that had just passed was a busy one. I am glad that it's almost 90% over. Sadly i am still left with my fyp demo and presentation with an IA interview coming up haiz. I want my real holiday to begin....

2009-03-08T23:24:00.002+08:00

I am not happy.... Not happy since the 3rd week into the semester... STRESS too... Glad that i always have 贵人 ard me but whenever there's 贵人 there is bound to be a leecher trying to suck me dry. I hate it hate it hate it. If not for the listening ears i have i think i would have scream my lung out already. This is why i am a 烂好人 i dun wish to hurt ppl feelings so i am hurting mine. It sucks big time. Shit there's a sms... Gosh pls dun let it be them. Haiz

2009-02-25T01:52:00.003+08:00

Must come in here to post something... LOL...

It's term break now and i am still doing my fyp. Seriously other than sick and tired there's nothing more. My patient and my good nature is also going down the drain. I hate ppl trying to show off or try to put me down indirectly. May it be intellectually, efficiency, looks, attached or not, i might not be 'good'. But at least i am not evil. Haiz... That aside i have been trying to be happy.... Most day i succeed somedays i am just gloomy. So i actually shot my mouth off and give deserving ppl attitude. Haha....

Actually an incident took place just before my break. It came as a shock to me... I dunno how to react, i dunno how to console... Suddenly i am no longer serious, very out of my own norm. In the end what i can do is to make my presence felt. Really feel very apologetic towards it... haiz... To my dear friend "Let time dull the sadness and pain..."

~Always look on the brighter side of life

2009-01-27T18:20:00.003+08:00

Happy Lunar New Year

Another round of CNY Just like the past few years i am only oblige to very one place and the rest of the time i just stayed home to collect my ang pao.... hahahaha... I am so glad that i have finally managed to solved my bug on the second day of CNY hahahaha... I am simply so glad so it means that i can start on my second sub system soon... wo hoo....

On the side note i am back to excercising... I have been so lazy ever since i got discharge from the clinic. Have not been excercising much but i do understand if i want to be healthy i got to eat right and exercising <--- something i dread. So now i am taking baby step 1 step at a time. So i am beginning to take the stairs more in school and walk abit more than usual. Then i am forcing myself to go for 1 round at the park near my place at least twice per week. It's not a big round cos for me to complete a round just take about 7 to 8 mins which means it couldn't be more than 1.2km... hahahaha going slow now.

Another thing is that i am on fancl calorie limit and perfect slim alpha.... Relying on them for the time being to control my weight. Actually i just weight myself today and i am totally suprise that my weight is still the same as 6 mths back... Tadaa though i have been eating rubbish most of the time, other than my daily breakfast of oats with dried fruits. So are they working? not sure got to wait till i complete one month dosage. hehehehe... Back to FYP.

2009-01-23T13:30:00.002+08:00

Time to update

Ever since school reopen it being like busy busy plus more busy.... Seriously i am so glad that now i only have 2 tuition kids. It means that i have more me time to complete what i wanna do. But so far no scrapbooking done yet not even time to do one simple notebook for myself. Haiz

Assignments are pilling in and FYP is due soon but i am debugging away have not implemented another sub system... it's like very shit... project of this scale used to be combine effort of 4 to 5 now one person do it all haiz.... crazy lor... Just want to get it done and over with tired liao....

2008-12-31T22:30:00.002+08:00

lalalala... Last blog on the 18 so now i am back to blog again.... My hols is ending soon in just under 4 days... Hmm lots of my plan have been cancelled so isn't very eventful. Plus the fact that i have been down on luck. But anyway i lost some stuff to bad luck i gain some stuff back hahahaha... So it's not so bad after all. Been to johor city square twice and it's like eat shop eat shop for half a day there. Prices there are generally == to SGD but but.... Please remember to divde the amt by 2 lol.... At least i got to satisfy my shopping hunger there but but i want thailand more.... booo..... super sad de lor.... And And i manage to catch 3 movies in less then 7 days... They are Bedtime Stories, Bolt, Twilight.... Hehehehe Caught 2 of it with Jo and 1 of it with Sis... I love all of it.

Hmm tmr i have to pack my things again and wipe off those extra dust that got built over the mth cos i am not packing till coming May hehehe.... I am lazy de lor... woot.... Have to go back to design my web page again.... tata

2008-12-18T00:15:00.002+08:00

Aiyo the day went smooth today.... But just when it was about to end the most idiotic thing happen. Not going to fill in the info. But nothing has gone smoothly since my thailand trip incident. Nothing lor. Haiz... What is wrong.... After tmr i shall post more. Hope that it is really not shit....

2008-12-03T23:55:00.002+08:00

Haiz i am still in SG.... Originally schedule to be at Pattaya now. Due to the political unrest over there. Very disappointed and very troublesome due to the fact that we have to get refund for both flight and hotel. I have tried calling tiger airway for 3 days before my call get entertain. As for the hotel there's no reply whatsoever regarding when we will get back the refund. Although we have already been promise in black and white we will be getting back full refund. So all i can do is to wait wait wait.

Then jo and me have scheduled to go KL and colmar tropicale together. But in the end cancelled as Colmar does not have the hotel for that particular date. Actually it's my fault i think this time round really rush into booking the trip.... But anyway we will be going down to collect back out deposit. As jo said we shouldn't have give them any deposit since they haven confirm with us yet. Stupid me....

So now basically no hols plan. If any i also won't say dun want to jinx it. haiz. Maybe i am destined to stay home to do my stupid fyp. LOL....

Ok enough of sad stuff. Jo brought me to eat jap food at S11 today. Very nice leh i like it... Cheap also. Will go there next time. Same price as sumo house but way better. LOL. Also these few days i am stocking up on my "vanity" product. LOL most of my skin care are almost use up so might as well get it. But it's never cheap lor though it's already discounted. Plus the fact i am starting on fancl washing powder make stocking up expensive. Will be altering b/w fancl and avene cleanser every 2 to 3 mths cos i find avene too drying after a long use(at my second bottle now). However, it does a good thorough wash for me. That is why i am not giving it up.

Haiz simply no mood to do FYP how how.... Blah Blah Blah.... Sianz. Later in the day have to register for course. Hopefully i'll be able to get the course i want. Esle sianz...

2008-11-24T12:13:00.002+08:00

I have to note this down....

Did i mention that i am going to catch a Disney production on last sunday.... LOL... Join the gals, joey and joelle with their daddy and mummy.... Wow it's a great show. Though i have to admit that the one at disneyland is way way better. But anyway the gals have already overcome the hurdles of being afraid in the dark theatre so it means that future trips to cinema will be no problem. I am totally amaze by their ability of remembering all the characters in Snow White, Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast. They can question us with why chip is not here or why the Queen from Snow White is not here. BTW the queen did appear lol... joey asked that question when we were on the car before the show. lol... Maybe becos the phamplet does not have the Queen so she assume that she is not going to be there. which is impossible cos the Queen is one of the main character.

Hmm thinking of going to HK next yr end.... anyone interested? cos can look out for tickets now for cheap deal lol...

2008-11-13T23:40:00.005+08:00

2 Papers down 2 more to Go....

Wo... It's a relieve to me seriously.... Not expecting much for the papers that i have already sat thru. Just hoping for a ok grade.... So now all my concentration can finally be placed on just 2 more papers and my fyp. Ouch FYP again... Haiz since i'll be meeting my supervisor on the 24th i might as well get done and over with, with my partial system design. Tsk Tsk...

Anyway met up with SK today and went for lunch at NYP then proceed on to revise for one of my paper. Emmm not good cos i was totally not in the mood to revise it. Maybe due to the fact that i have already been pushing myself very hard for the past 1 week and i just need a day off from all the revision. So i head off to NTUC to top up my oats after my revision.... LOL

shopping...

My basket today simply is filled with good food --> oats, bran, milk , flax seed meal, salad, carrot, tomatoes, ham, pitas, nuts, non fat yogurt, mixed nuts. But best of all i bought this:

It's only 25KCal per serving which is 2 slices. Just great for those in between snacking. It tastes great a light touch of sweetness minus the typical saltiness of senbei. Nice. I love it most probably will go and grab another packet.

Anyway i think many will be surprise why all of a sudden i have started to be a convert to oats... Partly i am very influence by this blog carrotsncake. But partially i wanted to switch to something more substantial for breakfast other then my 3 slices of wholemeal bread in the morning. Hehehe so far so good have been eating that for about a mth. Also i am trying hard to switch my lunch over to sandwiches. Reason being it make me less tired and give me the energy to run through a day. But it's difficult... All the food temptation. LOL.... i spent quite a sum of money stocking up on oats bran and flex seed meal hopefully it can last me till end of the month....

ooo....... did i mention i have made a tag for myself so inspired by Lia hope i can post up my version on my scraping site soon...

wooo just 17 more days to go can't wait for it.........

2008-11-06T10:05:00.003+08:00

O... it's 6th of Nov... i am left with only 5 days to do my preparation for my 2 papers that's back to back.... omg I HAVE NOT COMPLETE MY REVISION NOT EVEN 50% DONE.... haiz ...

Anyway i am in school now trying to start off my revising for one of the modules that is schedule to be examine on the 13th.... boo hooo... sad...

Studies aside... i just want to say one thing i, yours truly, attract mad ppl. Just on tues i got into a damn conflict with this dumb arse ang moh.... seriously this is the first time ever person that ever ever in my life in sg that someone really dare to shove ppl HARD when they are at the escalator. Luckily it's upward and not downward. Imagine how dangerous it is. He is really very dumb. What happen was i exited from the NS bound train heading towards the escalator. Just when i was about to reach the escalator a lady in front of me suddenly stop. Not sure why she stop but nvm lor i just stop behind her else i'll knock into her. Then this stupid ang moh shove me aside and force his way through. I just got so irritated that i make those "sound" that a irritated person will make. As a ang moh he think that he is a big shot, he still dare to turn to me and ask what. Stupid arse the reason is very simple you have just done a super duper dangerous act. If i am not big size enough i would have for sure push that lady in front of me onto the escalator and i can't imagine the consequences. Then just straight in his face i told him he had pushed me. The funny thing he still dare to say i should have make a decision fast whether to go onto the escalator or not and it is because of ppl like me causes accident. Straight away i have told him that there's a lady in front of me and i couldn't have move or else i would have to push her. <--- read DANGEROUS. Which in my own opinion there's no need to do so. After which he sarcastically asked me what i want him to do. Of cos la dumb arse apologies. Seriously i wonder at this point if he is a three yrs old. I ask for an apology and the dumb arse dare to say "to you?". My reply at this point of time is of cos "yes". Since he refuse to do so the natural thing for me to say is to call the dumb arse "dumb & stupid" right in his face. I have regretted it. Should have insisted on an apology. Else this type of bastard will feel that Asian women can be easily bullied. Imagine if at the point i am a guy i dun think he will dare to do such thing. Luckily that day after the incident i saw some other ang moh around that are gracious and considerate. Seriously, this type of dumb arse should shoo off from Singapore. They are not welcome here. earning their $ make me feel sick.

Ok off my chest now.

BTW i have gotten this snack from quakers it's so nice i just simply love it to bits. The cinnamon smell is so nice and it's sweet so satisfy my craving by alot. Best part it's just 90 calories. Gotta to stock it up when i drop by at ntuc later. Here is how it looks like:

For more info head on to : http://www.quakerricesnacks.com/products/minidelights/cinnamon

More updates after the 13th.

counting down to 25 more days.

2008-10-26T20:53:00.004+08:00

It is so unforgettable....

My NLP class went to fusionpolis on friday.... It's an eye opener. But i can say it's not some place i will like to work in. Day in day out i think will be damn stress... Hmm but why is it unforgettable---> cos the stupid me wore the M&S shoe and i got this bloody big blister. The stupid me thought that after so long the shoe won't "bite" me anymore. But no i am so damn wrong see--->

It might not look very gross here. But in reality when i remove the shoe and see my toe it's like the upper layer of my skin got rub off. ouch....

Ok on to another topic i am currently having lots of veg in my diet it's been like a mth already since i started to eat like this:

Pls dun get me wrong i am not on a slimming diet just that i need the extra fibre everyday.... But apparently it is not really doing what i hope it will be doing. Hmm so recently i start on a oat base breakfast plus this for one of my meal.... Hehehe...

Exam is starting soon i haven started on my revision yet... opps... hopefully by tonight i can get most of my fyp done so tmr i can concentrate more on my revision... That's all...

2008-10-20T12:42:00.002+08:00

Just Some Thoughts

While i am being guilty waiting for my project mate to complete his coding and emmm.... mine.... I am going to blog. Naugthy me....

Anyway manage to catch the movie 20th century boy. A nice movie keep you in suspend at the end. Worth watching. Helps in letting me relax. HAHAHA...

Nearing exam period and assignment submission due date. Lots of things to do time is running out. Every sem is the same thing and most of the time we will all suffer panick attack. At some points there's just this feeling nudging us to just give up. Hahahaha.... What to do? Maybe just a short little break. Walk out and go grab a cup of coffee or tea... And REALLY must find time to laze. ELSE all the stress will build up.... Anyway read this a article some time ago.... it's content is something like:

"Be positive always.... Else being negative will suck you dry of energy. Be around positive ppl they will be the one fueling you with positive energy. Stay clear of negative ppl cos they will be the one sucking you dry...."

Something to think about i guess....

2008-10-13T12:10:00.003+08:00

Something i have Forgotten

Gosh I have totally forgotten to blog about this.... Last Sunday i have received a msg from a dear fren of mine Noorul... She had given birth to a baby girl.... So happy for her. Visited her last tuesday. But her girl was down with jundice so we didn't get a chance to see her daugther. Hopefully she had already gotten better. The last time i sms her she told me that the level went down. So it's really a good news. It's really a heart breaking thing to happen.

I can still remember she's the first few person that i talk to when i first get into poly. The impression that she leaves me is that she is very caring and easy going. Now she's a mother. Everything just happen so fast. Most probably will pay her a visit again this coming dec after my exam. Hope by then i can get to see her daugther...

:->

2008-10-11T00:00:00.003+08:00

I finally did it....

I am so proud of myself. Busy preparing for 2 quizzes this week plus doing one of my assignment. I got to say that my hardwork in revising for my quizzes paid off. I managed to do my adv algo quiz though not very perfect but at least i got 2.5 out of 3 questions done. Then as for my nlp quiz i manage to work through the 2 questions in a breeze not sure if i will get those questions right but at least i didn't feel as stress up as before. Anyway it's time for me to concentrate on my Assignment, FYP and Exam now.... haiz

2008-09-30T11:02:00.004+08:00

Wow Wow Wow....

Before it is too late to announce hehehe... i am going to bangkok this coming Dec 1st to Dec 7.... Can't wait for it to happen. Will be staying for a night over at pattaya. Hotels are book we will be staying over at Ecotel @ Bkk and Mark land @ Pattaya. This is the only thing i am looking forward to so far need to get out of here to unwind. STRESS.... I really really need to enjoy myself to the fullest before i get back to sg. Cos after the trip i have to work full time on my fyp...Will try to have some itinerary up. I think most probably is really shopping eating and shopping and more eating whahahaha... greedy me

On the side note i am so dead trying to figure out what the hell i am doing for my nlp module

assigment

Haiz

2008-09-28T20:28:00.003+08:00

It's My 22nd Birthday....

Nothing much happen today. As usual stayed home do assignment and went out for lunch. But today is my 3rd sister treat. Got to eat Botak Jones @amk. Nice not bad. Service there is exceptionally good. Afterwhich shop around at amk central. Got myself a book, and some toiletries at watson and guardian. Got this tube of acne cream from icm hopefully it work. This few weeks got lotsa pimple popping especially at the chin area and the usual ginvera green tea gel that i am using seems to be leaving burn mark behind.

Anyway so happen Joey and Joelle are also at central so go and see them cut hair and bring joey to walk ard with us. Joelle even wish me a happy birthday and both sang a birthday song for me.

This birthday my wish is to be able to do well in this sem and be able to successfully get my things done.... Hahaha I wonder why everything gotta do with school work.

2008-09-27T01:46:00.002+08:00

I Finally Update My Blogskin & Early Bday Celebration

Hehehehe Saw this very nice skin and decided to "Kop" it and change my bloggy... Nice rite i love it simple and functional. No need to navigate too much.

Today Joyce and Peiqi celebrated my bday with me.... We had a great dinner and very very very nice cake.... it's from Canele.... It's duper nice lor. The choco, the cheese simply divine. Very ex too. I think the 2 slices that they bought i can easily have 3 big pieces of carrot cake from cedele bah.... hehehe.... But both shall not be compare..... Thank you Peiqi for introducing me this.... :-> Every yr bday for each and everyone of us since poly days will be celebrated. But as time pass we are getting busier and busier. So to have a celebration with them is not easy. This yr i think we only manage to celebrate pei qi and hui mien bday as a group ba. Joyce bday both pq and hm are in china. Next yr we shall make each and everyone of our birthday more happening...... But But i really appreciate and is thankful for this year celebration. Thank you Joyce, Peiqi and Huimien for the present. I'll make sure i will fully utilise it.... Shall post up my 22 yrs of thoughts on the 28th hehehehe... Till then tata

2008-09-18T10:07:00.002+08:00

I WANT A BREAK....

Work Work Work.... It's never ending for this semester. Still remember last sem at night i still have time to watch tv and not touching my books. But this semester seems like impossible. Still have to force myself to do some reading else to do some coding so that i will not feel guilty. Never expect this sem to be so pack and busy cos as a matter of fact i am only taking 4modules and a fyp. But i am wrong... the busy schedule is way more than what i have expected. Next week is my term break but i think most of the time will be spent in the school fyp lab to wrap up one of the module i am working now. tsk tsk... No more lazing around like the previous sems during term break. I have a list of things to do:

Complete the readings for my nlp modules about 10chapters!!!!
Revise my adv algo.
View thru online lect for my adv. comp network module
Revise my Engineer and society module
Do my fyp
Study for 2 quizzes.

So many school related task i really wonder if i have time to do other things. I wanted to revamp my blog, post new things on my scrapping blog and do some scrapping.... Where to find the time. LOL......

2008-09-09T23:02:00.003+08:00

Of Social Graciousness ---> Singapore Context

Wanted to post this yesterday but too busy booking my air tix hehe... so drag till now. I dunno is it just me or everyone is feeling about the same thing. The public transport is getting more and more crowded day after day. Werid ppl will then start to surface below are my own experiences.

The Auntie that Wants a Shopping Bag Stand ...A week or 2 back i was on board the train home from Marina Bay. Then this group of ppl boarded the train at somerset. I have to admit the train gets rather crowded after douby ghout station. This grp of ppl that just boarded actually consist of 3 aunties and a few youngsters. The auntie stand infront of me with the youngsters standing behind her are expecting me to give up my seat<-- from the way they are reacting. BUT come on if you are really old and can't stand i would have given up my seats to you. But no lor not even a sign of being feeble it's as if they have more energy than me. So i just ignore and plan to take a nap. But tada the auntie "accidentally" step on my feet. Not once but thrice. I am totally infuriated by then. But knowing jolly well what was the purpose of her doing it i totally try to ignore it and try my very best to tuck my feet under the seats. The last straw.... she places her shopping bags on my lap and shifted it so that it sits perfectly and comfortably on my lap.Now i am fuming. I just suddenly sat up and turned my legs side way. Luckily sis was seated beside me. Thus can squeeze in with her. As i was quite fierce already so she dun dare to do any more stupid things after that. What surprises me most, the youngsters can just stand at the back and grumble. Excuse me if their auntie was really so tired why none of them offered to carry her shopping bags for her? Don't expect an outsider to be nice to you when firstly, you are not weak, Secondly trying all sort of stupid tatics to make people give up their seats and Lastly your own kind also don't help you how to expect an outsider to do so.
The Student That Refuses to Say Sorry...Another pathetic MRT incident. A student got onto the train and stand right infront of me cos her friend was seated beside me. Train was not crowded with comfortable standing spaces. Till now i am not sure why she wants to stand infront of me since she can stand right infront of her friend. So why doesn't she stand infront of her in the first place. Till now i also dun have an answer. The train reached the yishun station the station i usually doze off and she step onto my slipper. Luckily for me my feet is slightly slip back. But i am still awaken lor. The first time i just peek a little and doze off back to slp cos really very tired. But it happen for a second time this time round i just wake up and stare at her. She very well knew what had happen and saw me staring at her but guess what she turn her head side way. Didn't even mumble an apology... it's really very irritating.
The Women that Blatantly Took My Leg as Pillar...This happen to me on the same day of The Student That Refuses to Say Sorry.... when the student finally decided that she should stand infront of her friend, two other women boarded the train and stand infront of me. Then out of a sudden something was push against the side of my leg. It's really push very hard that type. Once again i am awaken. Thinking that the train might be getting too crowded again. But no. Though slightly crowded it's still not so bad. So exactly what had happen is. This 2 women decided that the 2 bags of stuff they are holding are too heavy so they decided to put it down. But it cannot be put on the floor side by side. one must be stack on top of the other. So to balance it rite..... What will be more stable then to make use of the leg of a fellow communter that is seated. Yes that's right that person is me.... I am shock man. Can really tell it's being done on purpose. luckily, luck is on my side the bag drops. Also since i am already staring at one of them, they dun dare to place it back. The woman that i stare at even tell her companion not to put it back into position. Haiz crazy people.
The Student That Fidget too Much.... Experience this last week too... As the name suggest most people will know what i am saying. But this student.... Fidget till i got the impluse to tell her to stop.

With this type of people around i really cannot see any light of graciousness. There are still more to my list lor. Adults snatching seat from my niece even when they already see me carrying her to the seat lor. Talk about good beget good. Why everytime i gave up my seats to those pregnant, kids or old people no one did the same to me. Except once this auntie see me carrying my nephew and she gave up her seats to me even though the bus is crowded and i refuses to do so. Haiz maybe one day i will be just as heartless and not gracious.... Lots to say but i think it will be endless.....

2008-08-30T00:57:00.002+08:00

I have a very tough week this week. With lotsa of things to do. Didn't free myself up till this evening. Met up with Joyce and Peiqi to go to comex. Joyce finally got her stuff hehehe.... She must be very happy now. As for me i finally got my locittane red riz toner. Hopefully it is really good at controlling my oily nose.

Hit my lowest point on thurs. Got a sudden quiz and i was caught "unprepared". The fact is that i have prepared for this quiz since 2 weeks ago. But the surprise annoucement of quiz for that day plus i am late for the quiz make me go hay wire. Couldn't tackle the qns very sad. What's more i have to force myself to clear a short proposal and my uml diagram right after that for today submission haiz.

Now i still have about 6 chapters of backlog reading for my nlp module and revision for the rest of my 3 modules. With FYP keep putting pressure on me it makes everything worse. The truth is i am not being force to work hard for my fyp but i dunno why the stress is there. Just hopping that not everything is going down hill now. haiz....

Die die tml must catch one of the movies i want to watch to relax....

2008-08-22T10:54:00.004+08:00

Haiz i am officially in the 3rd week of school. Things are going at a very fast pace. Simply left with no space to breathe. Simply got no idea why. Is it the fyp or is it the modules i am taking. Everyday just leave me with nothing, but feeling totally drain. It's the exam peroid type of drain it's the type of draining that left me with only the interest to slp like a pig and want to care about nothing else. I question myself what's wrong the only deduction that i can get out is that i am losing interest. LOL... It's my ambition to be in this line of work since young very young to be exact. But the reality will not feed my thirst to reach where i want to be at. Gosh....

I have not be scrapping too for a long time. About 3 weeks. School really don't go hand in had with hooby. My jogging plan is also being thrown out of the window cos of the low energy. Really need to think of something to motivate myself.

Tutoring wise isn't going very well. Sometimes i just feel like screaming rite into his face. Bloody hell spent more time with your kid and monitor yourself. What the hell i have been putting in tremendous effort and each and everytime i feel like i got slap in my face. As a tutor i can only do so much what else do they expect. As parents if they dun take things seriously then the kid is bound for failure. Sometimes i just want to be irresponsible. But cannot. I hate this type of parents they just want to hire a tutor so that they can remove guilt from themselves. I don't remember seeing my parents throwing me there to study by myself when i was young. They are very strict and they make sure i learn my things. There's no need for teachers complaint or whatsoever. I dun have a tutor till i was in sec 3, cos i needed someone to help me with my A and E maths. My parent take responsibility. They dun throw me to a complete stranger and hope for the best.If you can't be bothered to put in the effort to track the problem why have children. Haiz....

on a lighter note i'll be going off to bkk and pattaya this coming dec. LOL... haiz this is the only thing i can look forward...

2008-08-17T16:38:00.001+08:00

Somewhere over the rainbow.

I love this song very much. Got to know it when i watch 50 first Date and in recent months class 95 has been playing it on air. Enjoy.

2008-07-11T00:33:00.002+08:00

Just now while on the way home i manage to catch this very touching story on ufm 100.3. I seldom listen to this station as it has mostly chinese music. But dunno why out of a sudden i am listening to it today. Ok shall elaborate on the story i heard more:

It started off with this guy promising a girl that he will make her wish come true so long as he can fulfill it. Thus this girl who was never in a relationship before told the guy that she would like to have him as her bf for a period of 100 days. Things were sweet between them. Till he met with a accident. The girl was very upset and told him that he has not fulfilled his promise yet as the 100 days wasn't over yet. On day 98 the nurse in the hospital passed her a letter which was found in the guy pants.

The guy wrote in it "After so many days i have realise how childish you are and can't believe any guy will fall for you in the future. Thus i have decided to be with you not just for now but to take care of you forever".

The girl was very sad after reading it. On day 100 12a.m sharp he passed away.

This story coupled with the music is very sad. Too bad this station does not have podcast else can actually dl it to listen again....

2008-07-01T14:29:00.002+08:00

Long time didn't post here already... so i should start off posting now. I frantically try to jump start my reading last week for my fyp. It's not a pleasant sight. I have actually been trying to read it long ago but just that the min i flip it open and try to read it it's like a bedtime story to me... But anyhow i have force myself to do the impossible and get it done. Met up with my sup yesterday and see the lab that we are assign to do our work in seriously i am thinking to use the lab or not. It's very far off from our com sci building. NVM....

The afterwards met up with a fren and check out the fyp book. She bought it and i didn't cos the staff mention that the school moght release a new version. After which met up with another fren cos it's her birthday and she had actually took a day off work. Initially really thought of going to partyworld one but in the end cannot cos of my delayed schedule. Haiz. We went to kino and shop around found this chinese book that's be translated from jap. good buy i must say. We went to burger king later and talk and nua there actually i wanted a coffee but i can't help but think that the coffee is going to cost more than my meal at BK so off we go to there and i had my dinner settle there too. After which we head to M&S to get my jeans but horror of all horror. I can't fit into the usual size i get. Gosh i am so dead. Haiz. Plan for the rest of the month to to get trimmer so that i can go back to the inital size. haiz. But at least i have accompanied my friend to get a pair of jeans at top shop so at least i won't feel that bad. LOL. After we parted i met up with sis at suntec... hehehe partly i want to ask her to use up my food republic voucher. Else it will go to waste so in a single day i have like met up with 4 ppl wor that is a accomplishment. Which also cost me to be so lethagic today. haiz.

The final surprising thing arise when i reach home i am slightly sun burn. i can't believe it myself too. i can really feel the stinging sensation on both my arm. I just can't believe that i can get burn when i have spend barely an hr in total of exposure under the sun yesterday. What's more i have put on my sun block. TSK TSK. bad. My skin is freakingly easy to burn.

KK gotta go now i think my brain is asking me for a nap. LOL...

2008-06-08T22:49:00.003+08:00

Hmm i wanted to post about my trip to hk and bali but too lazy to... Maybe i'll move my ass and post about it tmr lol. But really it's fun to get out of sg once in a blue moon. But eventually i still miss her. The cleanliness and peace lol.... Learn some stuff when i was out of here. But i must say i love SQ.... Shall elaborate more next time....

2008-05-19T23:49:00.003+08:00

The gals came over today... Didn't expect it. Cos their dad is not in sg and bring two toddlers out can be a handful. As usual my room is their war zone. Palying, jumping and doing all sorts of things. The photo is taken just after they took their bath and them being busy going around to let us to smell them *we have this habit of calling them smelly when they refuse to bath, thus to prove to us that they smell good after bathing they will come and tell us to smell them* LOL...

Joey also keep reminding us that we are going off to hong kong soon lol.... 2 more days to go

2008-05-17T00:34:00.002+08:00

Went out with Dad today. Treated him to ichiban sushi at amk hub before taking an hr ride to tampanies ikea. Being pestering dad to go with me ever since my last paper. But abit disappointed cos dun have the movable storage that i wanted. But at least i have gotten some cutlery set holder to act as my ever increasing pen holder. Dad and i spent about 2.5 hrs there before we head to the airport to have dinner. Bring him to walk around T3 first and had a coffee with him before my sis came and join us for dinner. Finally had my popeye.... Lalalala.... A satisfying day... hehehe

2008-04-29T14:05:00.002+08:00

yes i am finally left with one more paper and i will be free.... Itinery for the month of may is as follow.

alter alpha for a friend who is getting married and leaving ntu soon.... haiz...
to "K" with SK.
alter my wooden plank.
Pack my room and living room which look terribly like rubbish dump. With alterable wooden plank to piles of notes...
Research for FYP....
Tutoring kids whom i think sometimes are not worth my effort. If not for the $$$....
to babysit and enjoy my trip to HK disney land. <--- Air tix book. Hotel book... To say the truth we are so very pampered by my bro in law. Imagine flying SQ, Staying at the disney hollywood hotel all sponsored by him ok... LOL so babysitting is no sweat.
to relax and enjoy myself at Bali <--- Yes air tix purchase. Hotel Book so 99.99999% going unless which is a big big "chio".....

I LOVE my MAY and i want to enjoy it.....

2008-04-04T14:29:00.002+08:00

Finally all the projects and presentations are over... left with this pathetic assigment that is to be done... This semester recorded a whopping 3 projects, 6 assignments and 1 presentation. Ohhh. and it is almost over great. Time to really shift my butt and start working on the exams... $ paper to go and i will be a free woman. I am so looking forward to it...........

2008-03-17T23:22:00.000+08:00

Just realising that the more work that go pile on me the more unwilling i am to work on it. Dunno is it because i am losing my interest and faith in my line of study or i am just simply in need of a break. Just hate the stress level.

STRESS STRESS... I have 4 assignments due within the week. 2 is in the mid of preparation while the other 2 i have not even touch it yet. Now i am working on this technical writing whereby i am expected to use proper english. Haiz... Why am i in this shit. I have 2 team mate with no idea of how to write in proper english while the other is more into doing technical stuff then to write. Leaving me alone having to keep up with the lect and to understand how to write all the different shit. Why.... In the end i have to write, edit, explain. That is why i hate team work. I am not just answerable to myself i have to ans to a bunch of ppl.

These few days i have not being sleeping well or enough. Had this terrible headache when i wake up on sun... Headache on a sunday.... Great... Pop 2 panadol and drop back to sleep till 1p.m feeling very guilty after i woke up. damn half a day gone... The other half dedicated it totally to my nieces. Left with the night and the wee hr to get my things done. But i am not concentrating.... Can't concentrate can't think. I am fighting back.

Had a terrible nightmare... it is still fresh in my mind... gosh damn it....

2008-03-09T19:15:00.002+08:00

I am not disappearing from the blogging world just that i might be posting more on the other blog now --> theaddictionofscrapbooking.blogspot.com. Not that i am crazy to own 2 blogs just that i want to have a clear cut of happiness and daily updates. hehehe.... Anyway for me examination is coming near again and the "pon ten queen" <-- your's truely has been skipping lesson quite frequently now.... Because i simply dislike school... so haiz

On a lighter note... Saw my secondary school teacher at Made With Love... Hehehe jo and sk should know who i am talking about. Talk to her for awhile hehehe.... I am really touch that she remember me by name it's been 5 years since i last saw her. k gotta go and do my forever long list of assignments now....

2008-02-13T15:25:00.000+08:00

I am sick for the second time this year... OMG... WASTE $$$ see doc.... HATE to be SICK everything seems to be spinning... HATE HATE HATE...

On brigther note i have completed my dad b'day celebration scraping... and a motivation tag for myself... a bday card and completed dressing up my J&C mini album cover... All will be up on my scrapbooking blog in a few days time....

2008-01-01T21:29:00.000+08:00

Today is the first day of new year and i am very glad that i have accomplished the things that i have set myself to do over the 1year period of 2007. I have finally managed to spent time with my close friends and family....

Hopefully for this year i will get to do the same things.

Things to do for the Coming Year:

Spending more time with my family.
Getting together with my friends.
Further improve my result.

Happy New Year...........

2007-12-24T23:16:00.000+08:00

Went out for the whole day yesterday and get stuck at Orchard... Totally amazed by the shopping crowd.... So why am i so crazy to get myself stuck at orchard.... TADA..... to babysit Joey<--- Darling niece of mine. By the time i reach home i am so dead tired. As expected i have to take turn with my sis to carry her around the whole of orchard. By the time i reach home i am so dead tired.

But i am pretty amazed by myself as i am able to stay up till 3 a.m to get 1/3 of a page of scrapbook done. All the wave cutting took me 2 hrs. At first i thought that since i have gotten a craft cutter the cutting of wave should be done in a jiffty but i am wrong. In the end i have to use a craft knife to cut out the remaining 3 sets of wave. <--- took me 2 hrs. The output of the pages in my opinion is not bad lol. Since it is my first time doing such heavy layering. Planning to get the remaining of the page done later. If possible i will post up the page tmr. hehehe. Anyway i have a sudden urge to listen to Eric Clapton "Tears in Heaven" so here i am found this video off youtube enjoy....

2007-12-13T15:02:00.001+08:00

K finally i am back to blog....

My last post was at oct which is like 2 months ago.. Hahahaha... I have always wanted to blog during that two month but i am simply to lazy to get my hand on the keyboard and start typing.

Met up with the gals on tuesday. Had a great dinner and with me doing lotsa toking.... lol Pls pardon me as i feel that my current grp of so call "friends" are in my opinion not too trustworthy for me to speak my mind freely.

Anyway during my examination period i realise a couple of things. Uni students really study till they are mad. Everyone is like frantically revising their work a mth ahead of the examinantion dates it really freak me out. Nevertheless, i join the mugging grp 3 weeks ahead of examination.

Second relization, some women simply do not know how to pee. Omg they can pee on the floor without feeling disgusted. If it is a squart toilet i am ok fine with it. But that cubicle is a sitting one. Just because of the we have to go to another toilet which is rather out of the way.

Third realization, some women dun wash their hand after they use the toilet. i am damn amazd by it. Sometimes i am already disgusted by the fact that ppl only rinse their hand under running water without the soap. The strange thing is they come from the same country. Not that singaporean dun do it but seldom will i see it. I am not trying to be racist here ok. Just that i dun understand their culture especially after the SARS episode.

k now it's time for me to go off once again i am lazy to continue blogging.... tata

2007-10-09T18:08:00.000+08:00

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This post is my official 200th posts. omg... hahahaha.... actually 200 posts are considered to be too little cos i have been blogging for 5 year... so on average 1 week 1 post i guess.

I have really been neglecting my blog not that i dun have anything to write about just that i am either too lazy or too tired. K now the update about myself... I am officially 21...yeah meaning i can watch films with gore... Great no more online video clips for those film.... Actually i wanted to watch "Terror Planet" but time is not on my side.

Actually gotta thank my poly frens,joyce, peiqi, hui mien. If not for you gals i will have spent my birthday with myself. Though its a quiet afair i really love it. Thank you gals for putting in the time for me. With all the busy schedules at school and at work i have not even thought that we will be meeting up. Just to say once more ---> i am very happy leh. Thanks for the strawberry eeyore and the wallet. I love the eeyore to bits....

Also through this celebration of my 21st birthday i realise that gift isn't everything. but the best thing in life is and the most precious things to have is to have someone there for you. Without them i guess there won't be happiness rite.... Hahahaha

So now as usual doing assignments and projects. Nothing much to mention as projects to me is always a unhappy afair. LOL more update soon...

2007-06-14T19:26:00.000+08:00

have dl the last eppy of gilmore girls. It's the last eppy of the series. so sad found this on youtube... I feel that it very well sums up the seasons.... more posting after i watch the eppy.

2007-05-28T01:34:00.000+08:00

BACK

Finally i am back to blogging. Been a month since my holidays start though i am doing my special term now.

My special term is getting boring. Although i must say that i actually gain some precious knowledge from it. Learning about stars and planets and some basic information on how planets are actually form is rather informative. Now i actually learnt that we are just located in a galaxy known as the 'milky way' and there's actually lotsa galaxies in the universe.

Recently i have been spending alot and i think that i am going broke. But i feel that most of the things that i bought are great deal. Especially my recent trip down to Robinson to get my simple facial wash, toner, mask and the olay whitening lotion. It saves my a whopping 15 bucks as compared to me getting it during a non sales period. If my income allow i might be going back to get one more tube of facial wash and mask as they usually only last me for half a year. LOL...

The only splurge that i did so far is to get myself a puma bag. The minute that i saw it i just love it, its in a very very light pink and with the 'puma' cat in golden color. I just love it lots. Since i have been thinking of getting one of this small hand carrier bag like 6 mths ago i finally got it.

The next thing is i finally managed to lay my hands on a novel. "Citizen Girl" written by the same authors who wrote "The nanny dairies". Frankly speaking i prefer the latter more. Partly due to the fact that i don't really like the ending of Citizen Girl. I just feel that the ending is in a mess not really much of a story line. I am now moving on to another story book titled "Spooning" not sure how it will turn up hopefully it is good lol.

Haiz school in another 7 hrs time sianz...

2007-04-16T10:24:00.000+08:00

just a quick blog before leaving for school...

LIFE SUCKS... especially at this period of time. Have to sit for 5 modules. Sad.... I have only revised 2 the rest have to wait i guess. Actually lotsa to blog but each and everytime i just give it a miss... too lazy to put thoughts into words....ha ha ha...

BTW Tokiya if you see this: Have been trying to catch you on msn. But either cannot get you or i am too busy. BTW ichiban sushi has already open in amk hub want to try.... And after my exam let's meet up ba... Hehehehe

2007-03-27T02:40:00.000+08:00

The following is a post forwarded to me by a friend... It's written by a prof of mine and i guess it is very motivating here it goes:

There was a story of a man walking home from his farm and he kept looking at the wonderful basket of eggs that he had. Admiring and commending himself for the result of his hard work. Not looking at the road, he trip over a drain and soon realized that all his eggs were broken saved one. Disappointed, he placed the one unbroken egg gratefully into his pocket, concentrated on the road and made it home.

Your time in the Uni is a journey. The true result you will take home with you is in your head and self-esteem, built over the hard work and slogging. It is not in that piece of paper that your get at convocation….

Whenever i am at the verge of giving up when i am not doing well i would like to read this email sent to me. To me it is a motivating post, pushing me to carry on. Hope it also helps my friends who are going through the same phase as me.

2007-03-27T02:11:00.000+08:00

Hehehe being lazy now so taking a *long* break from my report preparation...

This week is my elearning week --> yeah... dun have to attend face to face lesson for most of the modules. But this also means that i must be super duper hardworking to come online to do the e-lectures and tutorial haiz. The best part is yet to come... I am sick once more. When i start to get funny things like cold and sore throat i can always expect myself to have a long recovery route pengz.

First time see doc,which is one week ago, i spent 25 bucks. Today see doc i spent 39bucks. omg... machiam i print money. Luckily dad sponsor me on my second trip to the doc else i will be in a tight financial situation next month. I am *anticipating* to go back to the doc once more in a week time... Cos i am down with a persistent cough. Doc suspected i have a mild case of asthma, due to my previous long history of having a long period of cough and nose allergy. Which means she increase my medication doseage from 3 types of medicine to 6 types. Just for cough i have 2 which are meant to be drank in the different times of day. 1 antibotics and 3 other i think is for my nose and some sort of relaxer for my lungs. To say the truth i only remember the doc say about medication for the nose is given to me. The counter staff also didn't explain much till i come back to check it out online.... ---> sotong me should have ask. But heck... since most of it i have to complete the course... *PRAY* hope that i won't have to spent $$ on seeing doc.

Aiyo now have to go back and do my lab report already. SIANZ... still have to study for algorithm quiz haiz...

2007-03-25T05:05:00.000+08:00

Finally i am done with one of the assignment that i have to do. I swear i will never ever touch on computer graphics again. I can't imagine myself doing things that requires that sort of precision and patient.

Examination round and corner but seems like the avail time for studying is forever not enough. Still have to deal with 2 lab session next week which means i have to prepare for 1 log book, 1 lab assignment report and to study for 2 quizess all is to be done for these 2 pathetic labs. Plus I have to study for my algorithms quiz coming up next week too. o.... gosh i have started on none thanks to my computer graphic modules.

Suddenly i miss reading as in the leisure sort of reading.... Been reading lots but none of it got to do with my dear leisure reading sad. sometimes it is a cross between i am lazy and i have no time to go hunt for a good book to read. I think the last book that i have really read might be" MARLY and ME".<-- hope i get the title rite. Which i think it is about a year already. As i remember i got this book when i am working. Haiz life. Not must of enjoyment.

Anyway since i have opt for special term and most likely i will be able to get a slot for it i am dropping the idea to look for a temp job over my 3 mths hols. Most probably i'll just get new tuition assignment and continue teaching while studying over the hols. Meaning i'll be rotting for about 1 mth after my special terms. LOL i am looking forward to it man. I am greatly in need of the long deserve rest. phew....

2007-02-26T00:36:00.000+08:00

It's my term break now so i am back to blogging. Hate the upgrading work that is going on for blogger. Everything seems to be so slow; even as i am typing this post it seems like the words is coming out very slowly.

School being bad i think i am in a sort of on and off depression.

I know I am not coping well this semester and I am beginning to doubt my own choice of getting into computer science, sometimes even wondering back if I had made the wrong choice to study IT. Maybe it is because I didn’t do well in the first semester. It has proven to be a major setback for me. Talking to close friend does help in affirming my choice at times, but at some lonely times, times whereby I have to struggle to focus to work on modules that I am weak in, communicating with people etc. I am consistently feeling tired, irritable and suffering from terrible mood swing. Even small little things make me angry. Concealing my emotions at times could be a major challenge. How I hope things can be make easier. I really don’t wish to give up.

Things are getting worse off than ever when I have tutors that “love” to call on me. Being a shy person I hated to be call on most of the time. My classroom setting is the weirdest anyone could think of, imagine sitting in a class filled with only males and 1 female. It just makes me feel stupid when I answer questions wrongly. Even if I reply a single “I don’t know” it also makes me feel stupid. This semester I am stuck in 2 classes that are like this. I totally hated it. There are on occasion that I simply told my friends I hated attending one of the particular classes as the first lesson of the day, as my day will be totally spoil.

I simply do not know when I will enjoy my days in the uni.

2006-12-08T18:44:00.000+08:00

Finally i am here to blog. Actually should have blog earlier... But i just simply love to slack during this period of time....

Exam

it demoralising.... can't believe i have sat for those paper. Completely hopeless case. The only one that i can think of that might pass is my java the rest of 4 modules are like a pile of shit. seriously i have put in lotsa effort to revise but the end product is beyong my expectation. but i have to retake any of the subjects i will be so disappointed. But then i can do nothing about it now. i guess i can only pray hard.

After Exam

It is officailly time for the great destress.

Met up with SK and Jas first to the sitex show. A great disappointment. Not as good as i thought it would be. It's also a fast food day for me. LOL. Had the Mary Brown which i dun really like. Then finally had my Popeye---> highly recommanded and then we went for MOS burger. LOL we sure love fast food.... <--- only for that particular day i guess.

Then meet up with Joanna LOL. It's been one yr since we last met i guess. The last time we met is when i get back to sg from china. Hey thanks for accompanying me to the 4 M&S outlet lol. I am regretting now for not getting that jacket. LOL

Went to Vivocity with my DAD.... Really miss the days whereby i usually got the time to go jalan jalan with him. I think i will visit vivocity in the near future as lotsa shop ain't even open for business. so not much of a shopping. However one thing really caught my attention it is the big bookshop "PAGEONE"...

2006-09-29T14:15:00.000+08:00

Went out for the whole day yesterday. Did some shopping bought quite alot of skincare product cos my stock at home is getting low. <--- wallet can be consider empty now. Wahahaha.

Actually wanted to look around for nice t-shirt and bag but too bad either it is too ex or none is in sight. I guess i have to wait till the next time when i have the time then go out to do some serious shopping.

o... btw i managed to catch the movie "The Host"...it's super duper nice. Quite alot of touching scenes. Also there are scenes which makes me wondering "should i be sad or should i laugh out loud"<-- what a strange combination of emotions... lol

2006-09-28T10:15:00.000+08:00

First and foremost thanks to my two dear friends concern. I guess this week everything is slowly gathering itself and finally i have enough rest--> Cos it's the recess week whereby i can either choose to study or laze around. hahahha i choose laze around. Just like a little kid i just slp wherever i choose to sleep and whenever i choose to sleep.

Thank god it's a recess lol. I also get to enjoy my birthday without feeling much of the guilt lol....
more update later... hahaha

2006-09-17T23:57:00.000+08:00

I feel so totally suffocated.... I can hardly breathe. Even sleeping makes me feel guilty...

If i could just scream out loud... Am i giving myself pressure or it is really too much for me to handle.

2006-09-13T14:12:00.000+08:00

Think i just need somewhere to cool down....

Today i should be staying at home concentrating on my work but then --> the irritating sis of mine choose to give us trouble trouble trouble.

Talking about irresponsible mother i think she fits the category best. What the hell is she thinking haiz. These few weeks she have been toying with the idea of putting her youngest son here to be in the care of my mum. But the problem is her elderest son is already such a handful that i dun think my mum could handle. Mum is also in the fault. Always relaying on us to entertain the kids. Change nappies and stuff. If she can get her hands off them she would. pushing the responsibilities to my dad, third sis and myself. This always make me furious.

But then this few days or for about a week we have not been burden down by all the usual problem.

However, TADAH the irresponsible sis of mine starts to stir up shit. On the weekends when i am super duper busy in preparation for that stupid java program of mine and studying for that stupid discrete maths she choose to bring her youngest son over, and happily go out with her husband from 10.30 to 6.30. When infact sunday and saturday should be the day that she should be taking care of her sons herself. A long overdue promise that she make to us which seems impossible to realise. The most she ever did was to take care of her sons by themselves for 1 day. K back to the story... (Read earlier post) I am STRESS... with work and i can't find peace to do my work even on the days which i should.

Infants and toddlers are smart they know who is in authority and who isn't. When they behave at home they will usually misbehave at our place. So there we go running after them making sure both of them dun get injured and stuff. To round it off i dun have much time left to really study. While we are busy on our suppose off days they are out shopping and enjoying themselves. Once in a blue moon i really dun mind but ever so frequent i really feel like screaming at them. Stupid excuse that they give in order for them not to bring their eldest son home over the weekend would be "my husband needed to rest", "i am at home all alone cannot handle two kids" blah blah blah.... Being kind family members we would usually go "ok"... No matter how busy we are.

Now she drop the bomb she wants my mum to look after the youngest one too from 8.30 to 5.30p.m daily. Eldest one will still remian here at night. The thing is she didn't even train the youngest to stay here. The training i am refering to is to let the infant be able to be comfortable in this place and understand that there's a new person with authority around.

Now my mum refuses to do it. Therefore, she is using her mother-in-law to threaten all of us into looking after her kids for her. Everybody know how attach we are to her eldest son so in order to force us to comply with her demand, she said that she would bring over her eldest son to be taken care of by her mother-in-law, if my mum choose not to take care of her youngest son. This sadden me alot as it is not the first time she is using this tatic and i have already warn her on lots of occassion not to do it again. But now she is using it again. Inaddition, of acting pitiful inorder to gain what she wants.

The lame excuse she always use when we question why she wants to do that is "Cos i have no money to give to both side(refering to my mum and her mother in law)." Meaning if she gives my mother allowance she would not be giving any allowance to her mother in law.

In my opinion --> first of all regardless of what she should be forking out some money every month to give her parents. so i dunno what the hell she is thinking. If she is really that poor i am wondering how could she afford to buy and pay for expensive meals and stuff. If she cuts down on all the UNNECCESSARY expenses i think she is able to save alot and to be able to provide for the older one.

What the hell is wrong with her. I believe as her family members we have already given her alot and every single time she will take it for granted. She never appreciate it.

Just now when i am comfronting her on the phone she said, "I have never seen my friends and sister mother or mother in law complaining so frequently. Their sibling also won't complain that they need to study."<-- At this point i am thinking what is wrong with her can't she take care of her own children once in a blue moon so as to allow her sisters to study and do their assigments. Hello i am talking about weekends here. So to her --> weekends if my sisters want to study is none of my business so long as i can do what i want then so be it. Even though sometimes she will use her mouth to say "Please inform me when you are having examination so that i can care for my son myself"<--- bullshitting <---Never ever happen.

To her if we want to study we shouldn't come home to study. To her if we have examination it is our problem to find time to study on top of helping her up with her kids.

Now i am thinking if i have a responsible mother who can truly take care of the kids maybe i won't get fed up so often. Or maybe if my sister can be more sensible everybody would be happy...

What the hell is wrong with my whole family. Why is everyone so selfish so self centered. Hopeless.

2006-09-13T00:25:00.000+08:00

AAAAAAAAAA................. Haiz i think i am getting myself into a whole lot of shit.... I keep procastinating my revision and by the time i have to do it i am so dead. Depressing week, or should i say weeks. School isn't good. Haiz lots of things isn't good.

One more thing i dunno why ppl are so against ppl that are overweight/obese or whatever they choose to call us. Dun they know or understand that we are human being too... We have feelings too. When they are too bored or simply have nothing to do do they have to make jokes out of us. Insensitive brats. Forget it one day they will have their karma....

2006-09-03T21:26:00.000+08:00

It's been a mth in school and i have been busy busy busy....

Busy studying, busy tutoring, busy thinking. I feel so suffocated at times, feel like screaming out loud to ppl and tell them off. I feel that i don't fit in at times. Maybe because i don't make friends easily. Coping with my studies get terrible. I don't understand the things that the lecturer says. Haiz...

Staying in my so call home is getting worse day after day imagine sleeping at 3a.m and waking up to noises at 5a.m. if i sleep at 12 i'll be woken at 2. Haiz... Sometimes i wonder if my studies or my health matters to that person or not.

I practically drag myself up from my bed at 6.15a.m almost daily. The lack of sleep is making me losing my concentration. How i really hope i am able to stay at somewhere quiet. Too bad i can't afford to.

2006-07-10T15:12:00.000+08:00

Hmm what am i doing here at this moment? The only time i will be sitting here blogging away is when the server is crawling really just crawling --> worse than a tortise. Getting frustrated with work each and every single day i am thinking of how to just pull out a dagger from no where and stab into the ppl that give me nightmare at work. <-- BTW this is very Ally McBeal nothing of this sort will happen.

Haiz have to pull through this month really have to pull myself to work. I am getting depress day after day. I dun even have to mood to give face to ppl. If i dun need the $ i won't be working so hard. i would have just quit. Just simply hate it here. Just hope that it won't create a phobia in me next time i am looking for a IT job...

Haiz

2006-06-25T17:35:00.000+08:00

It's the end of the week once again meaning i am at home with three little kids... Hahahaha
last week i think is the most occupied week of all from me going thru graduation, Checkup at Uni, Work, Meet up with SK , Celebrating joyce's bday. A week filled of unforgettable event.

Graduation
It can get emotional i guess. But not till the point of crying. Some might not agree with me and really hope to get out of the school asap. But that moment when i received my cert i knew i'll no longer be a student of the school but instead a alumni. 3 yrs of hardwork, the best buddies i have make, the unforgettable ups and down, to realising the dream of going overseas to learn to be independent. If i go back to the time i have to make a decision of where i should be going for my post sec education. I'll stick of to this very school.

Checkup
A unforgettable event in the bad way. Been disgnose with a rather high blood pressure. Going back 2 weeks later for another round of checkup. Been told to cut down on my caffine intake. Just hope that everything will go will from there :-{

Work
Maybe i never ever really like this job. At times i am just totally irriated. When work just get pile up to having to work late till 10++pm at times. Or when supervisor feels that it's totally ok to ask me to work OT. Sometimes things just get onto my nerve. Instead of learning to be patient i think i am getting impatient. I will like to work and even willing to do OT if everything is reasonable but then everything is going overboard.

Joyce's bday
21 st bday of cos need to do something special for this gal but then in the end the celebration... Enjoyable celebration with lotsa food involve... K for this post i'll leave to next time when i get all the photos needed....

2006-06-11T14:17:00.000+08:00

It's going to be be my 3rd mth in the current company soon... I will be extending for another mth. Partly to earn, partly it's because the company needs tester. These few days there's quite alot of OT. A bit tired but also fulfilling.

These few days or should i say weeks there's lots of ups and downs. From me having no mood to work on days to being disappointed by certain ppls. It's irritating at times when i get compared at. Just dunno what is happening. How i hope that i have the mentality of some ppl to just ignore issues and take it less to heart. There are times when i just hope that i am brave enough to speak my mind....

Maybe because i am born a libra i wanted to be fair. If i am to go against my conscience and says things that i feel is totally out of sync with my personally i would rather not speak a word. Sometimes human being are just strange, they always think that when i refuse to speak against them i am agreeing with them. But i think the most likely reason is that i don't want to hurt them emotionally or to cause a conflict between us.

I do not know where ppl got the mentality that i am leading a much easier life than them or i do not have to worry about issues they are worrying about. When i said that a certain thing does not belong to me it is not mine to possess and i will not touch it. Maybe i have a lighter burden, but i still have mine to worried about. Why can't just ppl understand it... I admire those that dun compare themselves to others yet able to empathise with others. Sadly, i am also not one myself. But then life goes on....

For now the easiest way out is to learn to tune out..........

2006-05-27T00:23:00.000+08:00

This 3 days i think are the craziest days i ever had. Again i have a change of supervisor as my second sup said that she no longer have task for me to take care of. On my very first day with my new sup i have to work OT really non stop of work other than my 1 hr break -->13 hrs spent on working omg... Then these 2 days abit better just 9 hrs...

Hahahahaa have to bear with it till the end of june i guess...

2006-05-11T08:56:00.000+08:00

Regreted coming to work early. Can't even work, not because i dun want to work but the system... Haiz

Actually i wanted to type this post yesterday. But too lazy to do so.

Recently i just know of some stuff. Then it makes me realise that no matter how dedicated or how passionate one are towards a certain thing, there is bound to be one day they will get sick and tired of it. Maybe it is not the thing itself that makes one tired, but more of the circumstances it is been surrounded with. But then maybe taking a break would allow one to get back on track.

休息是为了走更远的路。。。 (By Resting it allows us to achieve more...)

I am beginning to count down to the end of my stay here. I feel that i am losing interest in the job. Cos almost everyday i am doing the same thing over and over again. Maybe i need to work on things that does not require me to 'ITERIATE'. I need varieties. I am getting greedy towards getting my dream job hahahha...

可能当我已开始倒数时，就是我对一切感到没兴趣了。。

2006-05-07T20:55:00.000+08:00

My Sat and Sun are so short... Went back to work on Sat. After considering very very very hard. I am a lazy person so i would rather spent my time at home to sleep and do my things.But then i didn't expect my ex sup to go back to work too. A bit uncomfortable with him around as he said to me before he dun want to see me staying late to get things done <--- sorry this is not those caring sort of words. Just that he is a result orientated person and dun believe in people puting in too much OT <---This is how i feel not really what he said. Actually there are other things i feel paiseh about.

On Fri morning i had already help him confirm that the function of a particular section is not producing result as expected.
Then sup pass me two accounts to test on, so happen she wants me to comfirm that particular section of the project can work on that 2 accounts.In the end i caught some new bugs and pass it to her to lodge. Who knows when she went to ask ex sup, he said that the function is already not working please dun test on that section first.

When i have been told that it seems like i have purposely go and catch those bugs to stress him. Haiz... Not my fault rite i also take orders from the sup.

Went off rather early actually i wanted to stay for another 2 hrs to complete the task but to avoid talking or discussing any project issue with him i went off early.

I have gotten my pay... Scare myself to death initially cos i thought that i have given the agency the wrong a/c No. Hahahaha but no i didn't gotten my pay at around 10p.m. Then money like water went flowing rather fast but it's ok i have at least save some.

Today, i had finally gotten my hair cut short. Suddenly, have the urge to cut it then just went ahead with it... Hehehe.

2006-05-01T21:57:00.000+08:00

Hmm my long weekend is over... haiz going to wake up early tml to travel to work... But rather happy this 3 days cos i have spent more time with my little ones,Clifford and Joey. Especially to my nephew Clifford. It's been long since i spent one full day with him. Last 7 mths or so was so fulled wiht my 24/7 projects or work.Really rarely see him on weekday. Usual work day ends at 9p.m for me till i return home he will be in his dream land. As for my little Joey she have been exceptional sweet to me on Sunday keep sticking to me and refuse to let me go.

2006-05-01T00:24:00.000+08:00

K today officially is 1 May Labour day... Thus, don't have to work... Staying up late i guess. Maybe my thailand trip will shift back. Cos lotsa things to pay for when the semester starts. Hmm NVM, it can still be fulfill when i am financially more capable. Hmm maybe that zen vision:m isn't too far away i guess. I think i am falling in love with a emotionless thing... hahaha

2006-04-30T18:19:00.000+08:00

My fave gilmore girls... This video is rather emotional i guess. Been watching it ever since the first season. It's been finalise that the last season will be season 7.

2006-04-29T01:42:00.000+08:00

I think today post is going to be long... But dunno how long it would be... Most likely it will be boring too hahaha...

Dinner Out

Dinner out with jo. I guess it has been long since we dine out as 2. Actually i am quite worried at first. cos it's been really long when we sit down and eat. Thoughts like 'what if we dun have any topic to talk about' and lotsa nonsense thoughts. But everything went fine went to esplande ichban boshi for dinner had my fave. It's nice.

Then head out to Marina square cos i really wanted to have a close look at the creative zen vision:m. Guess what i didn't just have a close look. But i also held it and play with it's function. Really like it alot. But i guess i have to wait till the price drop.

Work

Started off the week with nothing to do. Then works came in... I dun think it is in a rush for me to complete it, however as there's a PH next week i am short of 1 day and i am predicting that this tasks require a week to complete. Really too many things to test. Plus i still have lotsa ???? going round and round my head. Thought of getting back yester day to work. But then my tuition kid shift the timing. Worse still i had make use of 1 hr to console her. Details can't be shared. However, this issue really let me wonder what the parents are doing to help.

Tutoring Job

Saturday had a lesson with one of my student. She didn't do her homework and and just blindly really blindly do her maths homework(Imagine the number of errors and careless mistake). Then being lazy she didn't do her science revision<--- she told me herslef. But what makes me freaking angry is that when the mum came in and see her crying, she looks angry and look at me. The problem is i didn't make my student cry. When i step into the house she was rushing her chinese homework. When i question her she just give me that type of 'fed up' look. Then she cried shortly. I had to explain to her mum the issue. To cut the event short the mum came over to me after a few minutes and question me "she didn't do her homework ar?". Then i just told her that her chinese homework not completed plus her maths homework was not properly done. Then guess what the mum said:

"Don't give her so much homework..."

What the freaking hell is wrong with her. By hearing what she said i can only conclude one thing, she didn't really went through her homework with her. I know my student is busy thus i had only set for her to do a revision paper for maths <--- simple question, revise her science chapter 1 - 4 and chinese 1 chapter. The maths homework was given a week ago while the rest was given to her 4 days before her lesson with me on saturday. Judge for yourself if this is alot of homework. Further more the things i set for her is to make sure that she revise for the examination, which is just a week away. One more week to go and she have not even start to revise. What should i do then stay with her from monday to friday and stare at her to do her revision. This student of mine also has a sister that is a tutor. Do you know what this lame sister did to me. In the past she told me that if my student didn't co-operate with me i just need to inform her then she will take care of it. Then when i use it to warn my student, when she is not doing her tuition homework on time. She told me: "My sister said that if i cannot get the things done then don't do lor..."

I am totally stunt by what she told me.If they even dare to question me why their daugther/sister didn't do well, they will regret for their whole life. As a outsider i put in the effort to really coach her along the way. But i don't really know what her family members are doing to her education.

Kids lie from time to time. They can say that their tutor gave them alot of homework thus they cannot complete it. School gave them alot of homework thus they cannot do other things. But on how many occassions are all these claim true.

Sometimes i just hate my tutoring job while other times i just love it. I love it when i have responsible parents that help their kids along with me. I hate it when the parents think that we are miracles and thus push all the teaching responsiblities to the tutors and school teachers. We are not miracles worker. Parents should be the one helping their kids to cultivate time management habits and not us. So angry....

2006-04-23T21:44:00.000+08:00

Wow this week is a tiring week for me... cos i not only did OT on fri i also did it on sat. Actually the thought of going to work OT on sat cross my mind on fri cos there's really lotsa things to complete and my software will expired soon. But the thought of stepping in the cold company which i don't have feeling for, put me off. However, joyce msg me early in the morning on sat and ask if i wanna get back to work. Since she is going back and i won't be lonely i change my mind once again and step back to work. It's really tiring cos i have to teach tuition in the morning from 9 to 1 then have to head back to work from 2.30 to 8p.m. But beening tired stops me from thinking about ridiculous things i guess. Thinking back i am really glad that i get back else my work will be long overdue according to my own expectation...

Once again SA is coming near. Being a tutor at the same time really makes me worry. I don't know what is happening to the student nowadays. Giving the same old excuses, parents also don't really care about their kids education. What is the use of empolying a tutor and asking the tutor to make sure their child improve, when they themselves are never putting in any effort at all to coach their kids. It's really depressing to see my student scoring badly.

2006-04-16T22:48:00.000+08:00

Hmm i hate it when it come to decision making. I will just feel so lost. I dunno is it due to the fact that i am a born Libra or what. Decision process is often a torture to me. When i have no choice i grumble, when choices are place right under my nose i am simply lost.

To some favouring a certain thing is equivalent to picking it up. wheras for me i wanted more. i want to led a life with little regrets. Little regrets does not equate to liking. Don't ask me why because it's something too difficult to put into words.

Recently, i just dun like to explain myself too much. Explaining makes me sick. Explaining makes me tired. Maybe it's my nature i dun like to talk much. I find writing express my thoughts way better than me saying it. But lately even time for writing has reduce drastically.

I really need the luxury of time i guess. Sorting up those space out thoughts and feelings....

I am lost not only to the immediate matters that need my attention... but to lotsa other issues that pile up...

2006-04-14T23:35:00.000+08:00

Yes 10 more weeks to go and i will end my stay at my current company... Hmm i think i miss school life. I prefer campus life than work i guess hahaha....

I think i shall learn to be greatful to lotsa things in my life... Been discussing work and personal life with friends and realise that i am indeed a lucky one.

At least i dun have to eat lunch alone during my first day at job...The sweetest temps over there even came to my department to ask me to join them for lunch during the second days. My work though not easy to understand at first, but i have kind supervisors that allow me to think through and learn at job. My ex-sup is worry that i don't have lunch mate and fear that i miss lunch. My dad help me to massage my leg when i have a major terrible cramp after midnight. I have friends that understand my needs.....

Lots of time i feel that i am blind feeling miserable over the slightest things, but now thinking back i think i am actually a very fortunate person that enjoy lotsa good things in this world.

Looking at the brighter side really helps one to be happy.

2006-04-09T16:14:00.000+08:00

Is there any time that you feel that you have to be better off then someone? Even though you might already be successful in your own way.
If someone surpass you for a moment you immediately feel the soreness in your heart?

I think lots of us went through this period of time when we feel that we need to be better than others. Maybe it's the way we have been brought up in this small country. Where people/parents feel that it is a must for one to excel and be better off than other people around their kids or simply themsleves.

I for one went through this period of time. When i feel the needs of winning others and surpassing others... Why? In general just to prove my worth to other people i guess. This type of emotion really persist on for a long while. Thus, it often make me feel miserable as there's always a feeling or thought that others are better than me. This inferior feeling persisted for as long as i could ever remember. However, just like some people i out grow it. Maybe because i feel that challenging myself gives me greater satisfaction more than anything else could.

How good one is, will never be based on just what you achieve. But it also build upon your character and more importantly the level of self confidence.

Maybe being happy and reach out to what you really want makes it more worth it then consistently thinking of how to win others, or in another words be better than others.

2006-04-08T00:47:00.000+08:00

It's been 3 weeks into my working life... 3 weeks of tiring days.... Glad that i am able to make it through. Just received the uni letters.... Have to make a choice by mid may.... Getting so tired of making decision. As a Libra I think too much i guess... Tired.

我真的想做自己。。。我不喜欢带着面具做人。我要求的不多，只是想要笑的时候笑，要沉默的时候沉默。。。但是往往都不能。。。

2006-03-29T22:59:00.000+08:00

Been shift to the tester position today. Quite busy as there are some stuff to learn. Me Sup. but now officially ex. Sup ask me a question on Tuesday... "After developing for us how do you feel?". This question trigger off a chain of feeling... The feeling of regret, the feeling of relief, and most of all "I love programming". In the past when i was in school all i know is to complain that there is endless projects that require so much effort to work through. But now i know that it is all worth it at least a found a brand new passion in life... Hahahaha

Last week i am still questioning myself if i am a cut out to learn IT now i can finally assure myself. Even though i am not very good at it at least i know that it is something that i love to do...

2006-03-25T23:25:00.000+08:00

People have been commenting that my blog is a dead blog... It's almost one... Been busy holding on to my full time job and tutoring jobs really takes up lots of my time Mon - Thurs schedule is from 7.30a.m - 9.30p.m...

I have just went through one of the many crossroads i am facing now. The previous post i did mention that i am employed as a software tester rite. But on the first day of work i am been change to a position of developer. I am not mentally prepared at all at that point when they told me the arrangment. Stress....

Then last fri i told my sup. i don't wish to carry on... As i dun wish to drag down the whole development team as the project is due soon. Sup. had been asking me about it on my third day of work if i am comfortable with testing or developing. He had a private talk with me at the later part of the day. At that point he asked if i am comfortable with development or not again, naturally i said i am more comfortable with testing but i'll try developing. But then to him trying is == to getting things done. The emphasis he makes adds on to the pressure i am facing. Initial pressure is from those ppl that feel that i should not be tester but developer. Then follow by ppl asking me if i can develop J2EE application if they ask me to. Then it is from Sup; who keep asking me to either pick up the challange or to drop the task if i don't want to jerpodise the developmet. Although he did say that i should not put pressure on myself as it is actually consider unfair to learn and at the same time producing the things... To say frankly i am very unhappy at that point. I am not brief in detail of what to do or the system. All briefing was kept at introductory level, just on the surface talk and suddenly the expectation that had been place on me.

Friday eventually came and we sat down after work for a review of what i had learn by just reading through the codes and use cases. Though i understand what they are doing and i told him at first i will be able to do it, i change my mind 10 mins into his explanation, partly after hearing the explanation i realised i have too much, really way too much to learn in such a short time. Secondly, i just had a feeling i am not to welcome at first in the team.

Sup. is naturally shock after hearing me changing my mind so suddenly and he ask for confirmation twice.... Because of the way he talk it makes me feel that i had made a stupid decision... It's a stupid decision because i am giving up a good opportunity to really learn... Then Sup. made me feel as if i am a person that give up easily which i am not. To me it's reverse psychology.

Eventually to console myself i consulted a few friends only one supported my view thanks to her i don't feel so stress up over the decision i made. As for how my sup. and bosses think about it after they know about this decision is beyond my control i guess.

我真的感到我对不起很多人。。。但是我又能怎么做。。。想了想对不起他们只有这么一个星期。。。对不起我自己的，只是我那执著的一面。。。如果我是一个会轻易放弃的人，我可能就不会这么不知所措了吧。我很想尝试。但是在这情况下真的不能让我自己这么做。

那一天我趁着巴士回家。看到那夕阳，心不知怎么的沉重了起来。今天还以为以想通了，但是。。。疲倦了真的不想再想这件事。我该如何让我的心平浮下来？

2006-03-17T11:51:00.000+08:00

K finally i can annouce i am employed now as a software tester, it's a temp job so the pay is naturally won't be alot to talk about. But better than nothing rite... hehehehe

Having this stupid sore throat and cough and runny nose that refuse to go away dunno why can't even go to polyclinic to see a doc cos my IC is not with me haiz... Why implement this rule now i thought last time have the appointment card can already now still must produce IC haiz... See a private doc is a great no no cos my cash level is all time low haiz sianz.... I think i will just take water as my source of medicine ba hahahaha....

2006-03-12T19:24:00.001+08:00

Exam finally pass by and i am consider as a unofficial graduate from my school... Hahahaha... Been shopping, painting the house and tutoring lately... Nothing happening happens so my life can be consider as very very very boring hehehe...

As an unofficial graduate it is natural for me to embark on another journey... To clinch a job. Had sent out a total of 4 resume each with a individual cover letter to it<--- In total i think i spent about 3 hrs to send out all these stuff.

Only one potential employer get back to me on the very same week and guess what, this is a agency and the real employer would be some one i don't really wish to work for. The pay can be consider not good and the location can be consider worse off... Haiz Too bad i am too poor and needed a job to support my uni weekly allowance... Tml will b my first interview which is also the first time i am having a interview without the needs to have lecturers sitting there. Should be feeling anxious but after taking my flu medicine i don't even have the mood hahahha.....

Some kind soul out there pls wish me luck hahaha.....

2006-02-22T23:52:00.000+08:00

It'e been about a month since i last post something...

Lot's happen this month--> Rushing for project, application to the uni, studying for exams and certification, celebrating my darlings birthday, tutoring as usual....

I am suppose to be studying for the last chapter for tml examination which is going to take place at 8.30a.m but i am having this sudden urge to blog....

Just to console myself for not studying i will always tell myself i deserve the break.Hehehehe

I really wanted to blog more... But lack of topic or rather energy to type things out...

2006-01-27T22:21:00.000+08:00

Taggy's been down... I am not sure since when. The service will be down forever. That means i would have to change to another tagboard. I am simply too lazy to do anymore changes now. Been busy with lotsa things lately the most impt thing in my mind is to complete my certification and move on. I should not have purchased the voucher. i am still stranded with 3 more reports, 1 quiz to go and a final project to do yucks... It is so sickening. I should be just like my team mate ignore everything and just focus on my own thing...

2005-12-27T23:43:00.000+08:00

Hmm.... I had just went through my notebook, there are lots of things for me to do. But then i really don't know where to start off. I have to work on

use cases
sequence diagrams
consolidate the survey
Coding for my BTCS project
Work on intershop project
Study for IT3176 quiz
Study for IT3132 quiz

Ah........ so many things to do. So far i had only completed the following things:

Complete reading "All Through the Night" by Mary Higgins Clark
All the Tutorials for next week
Pack my belongings
Complete viewing my GG season 2

So far i have only started on the following:

Reading Bridget Jone's Diary
Reading The Girl who Love Tom Gordon
Staring at the list of things i have not accomplish

I think i have really procastinate too much....

2005-12-27T12:21:00.000+08:00

Yes i finally took up a tuition assignment. But i don't know how it will go cos it's a private eastate and with my experience it's not really enjoyable to teach this type of student... Maybe i am wrong but i am going to try it out... it's been 6 mths since i taught any student. Really i am anxious about it... If i can stay on for this tuition assignment at least i won't have to worry too much about saving. Just hope this assignment will last. Praying very hard now to get another tuition assignment hopefully it's those that only require me to teach once a week. I think i am dreaming...

2005-12-24T20:52:00.000+08:00

It's christmas eve... It will always remind me the year is coming to an end and the New Year is fast approaching... I question myself what have i accomplished for the year... sadly to say there's nothing much.

My christmas eve will most likely to be filled with the viewing of GG season2 and then Home alone the movie.... Followed by the rerun of GG season 1 and so on.... Boring isn't it.........

2005-12-21T21:27:00.000+08:00

My eyes are half open... It looks like panda eyes and i am tired but haiz still got that pathetic report to complete... But no fear i am only left with the powerpoint slides and the executive summary.

I did two sinful things today:

went out for buffet even though i am poor and seriously need to get the partial ppt done up but no i went for buffet....
i bought something that i have been eyeing for 6 mths.... or should i say 1 yr already... yes yes it is GILMORE GIRLS season 2... I even throw coins to decide.. hahaha make my friend = _=... After which i told her that i want LOST and DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE make her = _= further... But then i am not going to spent on that 2 TV program till i am financially capable.... hahahah

But then i feel that today outing really make me feel better... Haven been feeling too good these few days or weeks... However, today i am able to do stupid things today make me feel good... Wahahaha...